Navigating Friendships That No Longer Feel Aligned
There are entire chapters of my life where the people around me were connected to a version of myself that doesn't really exist anymore. I wasn't fully myself in those chapters, and the friendships built around who I was then doesn’t translate to who I've become.
We tend to call this "outgrowing" someone — and that framing is a problem. It implies hierarchy, as though one person is ahead and one is behind. But that's not usually what's happening. Two people can both be growing, both becoming more themselves, and simply find that their lives no longer line up the way they used to. That's not a value judgment. It's alignment — and alignment shifts as we shift.
If you're wired for people pleasing, conflict avoidance, or feeling responsible for other people's emotional experience, this kind of drift creates a specific kind of internal tension. You notice the shift long before you say anything. You keep showing up the same way even though something feels off, because the thought of hurting someone by pulling back feels worse than quietly staying in something that no longer fits.
In this episode, we’re diving into how to navigate these shifts without hurting people’s feelings or carrying guilt.